With Every Stumble and Each Misfire
by Mia-Zeklos
Summary: Things you said when you thought I was asleep.


**Author's Notes: Feedback is welcome!**

Demons never took days off, and they didn't take nights off either; that much had been drilled into Jace's head since he'd been too young to even receive his first rune. What he hadn't learnt until much later on was that while demons didn't need rest, humans – even the ones blessed with angelic blood – did, and they only got that much less functional if they didn't get it on time.

And get it on time he didn't; not during the past two weeks, anyway. No one could predict when demon activity would be stronger and when they'd have lulls of inactivity, but there was something much easier to predict – whenever there were plenty of demons at the same place and time, everyone and everything who could possibly want the Shadowhunters distracted crawled out of the woodwork because they knew that they wouldn't be disturbed. When all of that had been taken into account, their forces had been stretched thin and sleep had only been allowed when deemed absolutely necessary.

And finally, finally, things had gone back to normal again.

Jace had barely found the strength to undress himself before falling in bed and drawing the covers over himself. Even with his eyes closed, he could still sense Alec's movement around the room – he was trying to be quiet, bless him, but all of Jace's enhancement runes still kept him on full alert – and he made a noise of protest.

"What is it?" Alec said, and there was a smile in his voice for the first time in days.

"Go to sleep," Jace mumbled. "Whatever is it that you want to do, you can do it tomorrow."

"You go to sleep," Alec countered and Jace opened his eyes to see him leaning over him. "You were hurt; you need the rest."

"This little thing?" Jace scoffed, nodding at the scratch that ran down his ribcage. Scratch didn't exactly cut it; it was wide and still distressingly deep even after the countless times Alec had reactivated his healing runes. "It'll heal in no time. I'm serious," he insisted, reaching to catch Alec's hand when he made to leave the bed. "You can barely stand up. Come on; you can deal with the paperwork tomorrow."

On most days, they wouldn't have risked it. The doors of the Institute bedrooms could be locked, but that didn't mean much when everyone who lived here was armed with a stele and an unlocking rune and Alec always took care to remind Jace of that, but Jace knew that he wouldn't leave tonight.

And sure enough, Alec sighed in resignation and divested himself of most of his clothes. Jace smiled to himself when he felt the bed dip under his weight and settled further under his covers. The remnants of the adrenaline rush he'd been on for two weeks were finally wearing off and he was already dozing off when he heard Alec's phone ring, or rather, felt it – ever thoughtful, his parabatai had left it on vibrate.

"Yes?" he hissed into the device once he'd picked up and Jace smothered his smile at Isabelle's voice on the other end of the line, loud enough for him to hear in the near complete silence in the room. How's Jace doing?

"He's- I think he's getting better," Alec whispered and Jace felt fingers trail over his side and over the cut, light as feathers. "He's going to be fine in a few days."

There was silence. What about you? Isabelle asked at last and Alec's fingers disappeared. Even with his back turned on him, Jace could almost see his free hand curl in a fist, still ready to fight anyone who dared to come his way. "I'm fine," he said. "But he isn't, not yet, because I wasn't there."

There was nothing you could have done. It was a simple reassurance, but Jace knew his parabatai well enough to know that he'd take it to heart.

"There's always something I can do," he said and Jace froze for a second, trying to analyse the words. They'd sounded almost like a vow; too close to one for his comfort. "No matter what it costs me."

If Izzy had an objection to that – and Jace was sure that she did – he didn't hear it. What he did hear was Alec placing his phone on the nightstand and shifting around until he could find a comfortable position. Jace felt the hesitation in the air – he's trying not to wake me up, he thought in a wave of fondness – and then a quick, warm kiss to his forehead before Alec went back to his original place on the bed. It took only a few more seconds before his breathing evened out and Jace smiled – Alec was so good at following commands that he could even order himself to sleep when he wanted to.

I don't want you to be the cost of my safety, he wanted to say. I don't need you to be. But it was late and he was tired and for now, just pressing closer to Alec and letting himself fall asleep too was reassurance enough.


End file.
